“Stay single, fall in love with yourself first. Don’t buy into the hype. Don’t lie to get someone’s body. Don’t fool yourself into a relationship. Be clear about what you want. Make sure it isn’t a decision stemmed from loneliness. Be honest about what you need. Be honest about what you have to offer. Be satisfied with not getting what you want. Don’t manipulate. Open communication. Be blunt. Be respectful. Be happy with or without someone. Know whether you’re in bed with a one-night stand or at the pulpit for marriage, that you didn’t lie to yourself or someone else to get there.”—"Dating Mantra" by 2am-poetry (via 2am-poetry)
I'm married and I'm messing with a married man. A few days ago he told me he has caught feelings. I did fall in love with him but I can't bring myself to tell him in fear that he may be playing with my emotions. We've been messing around for almost three years, is it possible he is telling the truth?
It’s possible. But you shouldn’t get a divorce because you caught feelings for the person you’re cheating with. Here’s why:
This analogy may seem weird at first, but humor me for a second.
You know how children always love their aunts and uncles? Aunts and uncles are fun because they buy you stuff, they’re always happy to see you. They’re not always on your case about shit like your parents.
Aunts and Uncles are fun because they only have to see you when they want to. They don’t have to deal with you 24hrs a day, feed you, clothe you, discipline you, make you do homework. They aren’t your parents so they don’t have the responsibility of the dirty work. That’s why they seem so great.
This nigga you’re cheating with is an “uncle”.
He’s not tasked with the dirty work. Managing bills with you, running a home with you. Smelling your period farts when its that time of the month. Seeing you looking busted when you take that sew in out and don’t have any makeup on.
Your husband deals with that shit on the daily. Your husband represents real life and the not-so-fun things that come with it. That’s why the side nigga seems so great. Your side nigga is a vacation from the responsibilities in your real life.
I’m not telling you not to cheat. I’m just telling you not to throw away your marriage for greener pastures. Because if you do… your side nigga won’t be the “uncle” anymore… Things won’t be so great. And you might regret your decision.
“Introverts, in contrast, may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but after a while wish they were home in their pajamas. They prefer to devote their social energies to close friends, colleagues, and family. They listen more than they talk, think before they speak, and often feel as if they express themselves better in writing than in conversation. They tend to dislike conflict. Many have a horror of small talk, but enjoy deep discussions.”—Susan Cain (via 1112pm)